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Should Parents Bribe Their Children?
Sometimes children don’t naturally do what their parents want them to do. They play video games instead of reading books. They don’t clean up their toys after they’re finished playing. They make too much noise or don’t eat their vegetables. As they get older, they might not do their homework, study for tests or clean their room. What’s a thoughtful parent to do?
Should parents bribe their children to do what’s right — with cash, extra screen time or other extrinsic rewards?
In “The Right Way to Bribe Your Kids to Read,” KJ Dell’Antonia writes about trying to find the best way to motivate children:
My children need to read this summer. They’re in the middle of a long vacation from school, and I want them to enjoy it — but I also want them to be able to pick up their education where they left off when school starts again in the fall.
Kids who read over the summer lose fewer skills than kids who don’t. This is especially important for children from low-income families and those with language problems, like my younger daughter. When reading is difficult, so is almost everything else. As new readers move from decoding text to fluency, every subject from math to history becomes more accessible, but practice is the only way to get there.
My kids (15, 12, 10 and 10) have an enviable amount of time to read, and plenty of books to choose from. Yet it’s already clear that beyond a late August dash to fulfill their assignments, very few pages are likely to be turned unless I do something. But what?
The answer many parents fall back on is bribery.
Students: Read the entire article, then tell us:
— Should parents bribe their children with money, treats or toys? Are bribes an effective way to get children to do what parents want them to do, such as read more books, eat healthier food or be better behaved? Can they be a way to jump-start or encourage a certain behavior that eventually becomes a habit?
— Or are bribes counterproductive in the long run? Do they end up teaching the wrong lessons? Will children become accustomed to doing the desired behavior (reading, eating healthy, et cetera) only when they expect to receive a reward? For example, will they never learn to read for pure enjoyment?
— Did your parents ever use bribes or rewards with you? Do they still? Did they use sticker charts to encourage reading? Or cash to get you to clean your room? Did the bribes work? Did they backfire? What advice would you give your parents on how to motivate you to do what they think is best?
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ReplyDeleteMelissa I agree with you, fathers use our point weak to get what they want and sometimes they want the best for us but not realize that are doing wrong.
DeleteMelissa I agree with you, fathers use our point weak to get what they want and sometimes they want the best for us but not realize that are doing wrong.
DeleteParents today use the method of bribe to raise their children, but do not realize that what they are doing is wrong and in the future will suffer the consequences. My parents few years ago did the same with me and my brothers, they reproached us because they were helping my mother in the household things. They bribed us to make us react to give us $ 20 every week if we did what they want. At that time we were babes and accept the deal. All started good but one day my parents would not pay us the money and we did not do what we had to do because they did not keep their word. Now my opinion is: Parents are doing good? No, because you are teaching the children that every time they do something good need a reward and things they are not. Children need to know that pick up your room, do school work and help in the things of the house is your responsibility, if their parents then want it but not always reward if do. I every day I try to get what I want and my parents pay me when ever they can and I am satisfied.
ReplyDeletesolimar I deffintley, agree with you bribing isn't the way to go. You always try to find a different soloution to go another positive path.
DeleteYes my parents have bribed me before many of times. One time was when i was in the 4th grade they said if i was to get A’s and B’s they would get me a quad. They bribed to get good grades and i did get that quad. That quad was a 2004 ltz 400. Another time that they bribed me was with a phone. The deal was if i am good and get good grades they would get me one. After that i got a phone i did what i had to do and got it. If i want something really bad i will work for it. That bribes never backfired on me it always backfired on my parents because they always have to pay up. Another time was in the 7th grade they said if i get A’s through the whole year they will get me a jeep. So you know what i did got all A’s and got that jeep. If you were in my LA class year you know i have it. There is another bribe on right now actually. The deal is if i get 85 and above i will get a dirt bike. As of right now so far so good on my part. The advice that i would give to my parents is nothing because what they are doing is working. Oh one more thing that i got as a was a quad. I got a new quad now it's a 2016 yfz450r. I got this by have good grades in the 8th grade and being good in the summer. Like i said before i will work my butt of to get something i want really bad. Hoped you guys enjoyed this week's blog, see you next week
ReplyDeleteParents shouldn't bribe their children.. regardless the situation. Although it is an effective way to get the children to do what the parents want. Yes it could be an effective way to act a certain way. They can become in a natural habitat that can go either negative or positive. They end up teaching wrong lessons and especially the way of learning. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if you guys were in public sand other citizen see the way your raising your children. The children will always expect to receive an award regardless of the situation maybe for even things that they already know their supposed to do. My parents did bribe me in a way, they used money. And in a way they still do my mind is still young and it falls for the tricks easily. They aren't motivating me the best way they can. I know there's always a better way to get the achievements they and I want. But the satisfaction of receiving an award for doing the right thing is the best feeling in the world. It makes you feel great and proud of your achievements. It's one of many ways on getting things done. I know it's not the best way on get any child to get the things the parents want done. It will go down hill at one point even when you're not expecting it, it's better to take the long way. The outcomes will come out even better than bribing anyone. I personally would not want to bribe my kids they and along with other people will receive the wrong impressions making me look bad and no parent wants to look bad.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it teaches your kid to be greedy and expect a reward for basic human skills. Your kids should be taught from an early age to do what they need to and start taking care of themselves by doing homework and cleaning up after themselves. Kids aren't dogs doing tricks.
DeleteI think that bribing is not a good idea at all. It teaches something wrong that then we are going to go by for the rest of our lives simply because we were taught that. Bribing teaches that the only way you could get someone to do something they can't do it for free and that is not right at all. Doing something for someone and without expecting anything in return is great. So kids should just clean their room. If parents bribe their kids to clean they most likely clean for themselves which will teach responsibility, but they will clean just for that reward they are expecting after it is done. When they get older they will not clean because they only cleaned for something in return. Which means messy house for an adult. I was never bribed by my mom to do housework but school work she did bribe me but i didnt do well enough to get the reward, so my mom stopped bribing me and just asked if i cam do it just to make her happy. Now if i dont do what my mom tells me I'm automatically grounded. So the secret bribe from my mom is that if you clean your room I won't ground you at all. She doesn't even have to say that so I know to just clean my room.
ReplyDeleteDoing something because they promised you that they will reward you really makes you a selfish person because then your doing something for yourself not for you parent in reality.
DeleteNo because they may not get the consequence what they are doing wrong besides they will only take advantage from that bribe and won’t feel what they have done is wrong which makes them
ReplyDeletethink to be good is by giving them what they want which results in being immature. Depends if the bribe really affects the child’s trust and behavior the parents may get what they want them to do or opposite they will want more and not care for what their parents want them to do. Yes it’s the same thing like when they go to school everyday like a habit same thing with behavior it will become a habit if the parent didn’t do something about it or not use childish bribes. Somehow if after convincing the child with a bribe to do something it’s relevant that they may learn something from that may affect him positively. Chance if they were so supportive to the child he will think doing something for someone not matter what it is will make him become a person careless of what he is doing only caring of what he or she wants with no remorse. Yes they will think that the duty they have to do serves no purpose except getting what they want. Yes but i really don’t care though. sometimes . No not in my younger years. No they didn’t at all infact i’m the only one in this family who doesn’t ask or please my parents to give me cash by doing something.No at all
No i wasn’t interested in any of them. To stop bragging about what i’m trying to do for them and be patient.
Parents shouldn’t bribe their kids to teach them to do what they want. They should teach them from a young age to do certain things like eating healthier or cleaning up after themselves. Kids will become adults one day and will have to rely on themselves to cook and clean and basic skills of life. Bribing them will get them nowhere and it may just make them spoiled. It won’t help them get used to life and taking care of themselves.
ReplyDeleteBribes are counterproductive because they teach kids that they’ll be rewarded for basic human skills they need to know. It may even make your kids spoiled, because every turn they make they’d expect a reward. If you want your kids to start reading, reading with them will help.
My parents never rewarded us for doing what we had to. My parents used to make us clean our rooms and do what we needed to because they knew that we’d have to do it when we’re alone in the real world. One day kids are going to grow up and have to take care of themselves by cooking, cleaning, ect. And my parents knew that, so they taught us from an early age how to clean and that everything has its own spot. Rewarding my siblings and I wouldn’t get us anywhere. If we didn’t do what we were supposed to, we would be punished until we did what we were supposed to do. My dad never had us read or do anything productive because I was always outside until the street lights came on and my mom worked twelve hour shifts and came home after I was already in bed. Either way, I grew up reading whenever I wanted and my room was clean. Therefore, you shouldn’t bribe your kids into doing what you want them to do, you should teach them from an early age.
In my opinion I don't think parent should bribe their children. The reason why I think parent should not Bribe their children is because if you bribe them with money,candy or toys when they get older young they are always Going to rely on you for everything. They are not going to do what you ask until you pay them or give them something In return. They are going to become very greedy and spoiled. They are effective way but it's something that we should not do. We don't want to pay a children when they don't in order to make them do it. If you pay your child it will be effective they will probably listen to you 90% of the time but it's something that we should not to in order to make them do something.
ReplyDeleteI Think that it if parents want to bribe their children they can but it might be a waste of money. If i am not studying and my mom gave me $20 to study i don’t have to get a good grade and i still get money. Some kids might take advantage of this offer. The big problem with giving kids money is what they spend it on. Now i have 3 younger siblings. A brother that is 13,and 11 and a little sister that is 8. Anytime i give them money or they get money they want to spend it right away. Most of the time it’s on candy or games. Which is not good for kids to be eating or playing all the time.
ReplyDeleteBribing someone to do something is not smart but it would work on many people. If i had to read over the summer and my grandma said read and you get $20. Then yeah i will read. Or if a little kid is not eating his or hers vegetables and you say eat it and you can have a scoop of ice cream. This can be bad because a kid might get use to doing their homework or eating all of there food and now it is an everyday thing and now the parents do not give any reward, the kids will go back to the way they acted before. Some bribes do end up teaching the wrong lesson to the child and the parent. An example of a wrong lesson is everytime you something right you don’t receive a medal. You are supposed to do it right anyway.
My parents have bribed me with many things but they can never keep there word on things they say. I helped my dad cut grass and weed wack but really i ended up doing it all myself. My reward was going to be a lunch out to Applebee's but they said that they had no money and bought me home Burger King. When i was about 5 my brother and i had chart on our behavior and if we were good all week then we would get a toy or stuffed animal. My mom and dad use to bribe me with staying home with my siblings and say we will get you something. And they never did. For the parents that want to get there kids to do something Just do something in return.