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Is Social Media Making Us More Narcissistic?
By KATHERINE SCHULTEN
FEBRUARY 24, 2016 5:08 AM February 24, 2016 5:08 am
Are social media like Facebook turning us into narcissists? The Times online feature Room for Debate invites knowledgeable outside contributors to discuss questions like this one as well as news events and other timely issues. Related ArticleCredit Dado Ruvic/Reuters
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Do you spend too much time trying to be attractive and interesting to others? Are you just a little too in love with your own Instagram feed?
An essay addressing those questions was chosen by two of our Student Councilmembers this week. Angie Shen explains why she thinks it’s important:
As the generation who grew up with social media, a reflection on narcissism is of critical importance to teenagers. What are the psychological and ethical implications of constant engagement with or obsession over social media? How does it change our relationship with others and how we see ourselves?
“Narcissism Is Increasing. So You’re Not So Special.” begins:
My teenage son recently informed me that there is an Internet quiz to test oneself for narcissism. His friend had just taken it. “How did it turn out?” I asked. “He says he did great!” my son responded. “He got the maximum score!”
When I was a child, no one outside the mental health profession talked about narcissism; people were more concerned with inadequate self-esteem, which at the time was believed to lurk behind nearly every difficulty. Like so many excesses of the 1970s, the self-love cult spun out of control and is now rampaging through our culture like Godzilla through Tokyo.
A 2010 study in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that the percentage of college students exhibiting narcissistic personality traits, based on their scores on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, a widely used diagnostic test, has increased by more than half since the early 1980s, to 30 percent. In their book “Narcissism Epidemic,” the psychology professors Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell show that narcissism has increased as quickly as obesity has since the 1980s. Even our egos are getting fat.
It has even infected our political debate. Donald Trump? “Remarkably narcissistic,” the developmental psychologist Howard Gardner told Vanity Fair magazine. I can’t say whether Mr. Trump is or isn’t a narcissist. But I do dispute the assertion that if he is, it is somehow remarkable.
This is a costly problem. While full-blown narcissists often report high levels of personal satisfaction, they create havoc and misery around them. There is overwhelming evidence linking narcissism with lower honesty and raised aggression. It’s notable for Valentine’s Day that narcissists struggle to stay committed to romantic partners, in no small part because they consider themselves superior.
The full-blown narcissist might reply, “So what?” But narcissism isn’t an either-or characteristic. It’s more of a set of progressive symptoms (like alcoholism) than an identifiable state (like diabetes). Millions of Americans exhibit symptoms, but still have a conscience and a hunger for moral improvement. At the very least, they really don’t want to be terrible people.
Students: Read the entire article, then tell us …
— Do you recognize yourself or your friends or family in any of the descriptions in this article? Are you sometimes too fixated on collecting “likes” and thinking about how others see you?
— What’s the line between “healthy self-love” that “requires being fully alive at this moment, as opposed to being virtually alive while wondering what others think,” and unhealthy narcissism? How can you stay on the healthy side of the line?
— Did you take the test? What did it tell you about yourself?
Henry Xu, another Student Council member who recommended this article, suggests these questions:
— What about Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and other social media feeds makes them so hard to put down?
— Do you think this writer’s proposal of a “social media fast” is a viable way to combat narcissism?
— For those who aren’t as attached to social media, do challenges from an overinflated sense of self still arise? If so, from where?
— If everyone is becoming more narcissistic, does that make narcissism necessarily a bad thing?
I don’t recognize myself or family in any of the descriptions in this article. For my friends I do recognize them in any of the descriptions in this article. I’m not fixated on collecting likes and thinking about how others see me. Healthy self-love there is balanced giving and taking. It is what helps motivate us to do better in our lives. Protects us from painful disappointments, failure, and keeps us away from feelings of helplessness .Unhealthy narcissism is when someone cares too much about themself that they go way over board the actual situation and later on they think that everyone likes them and they are above everyone else and is better at everything or anything than everyone else. Narcissists bully others about not being pretty or good looking as they are or smart or anything else that a person can be. Narcissists also really care about how they look. For example Vanity Smurf from the Smurfs. You need to care about others, not worry about yourself, and also don’t brag about yourself.I think you need to spread the confidence especially to others who don’t have that much and also to everyone. I took the test and got a 21 out of 40 so that shows I'm not very narcissistic. I pay attention to others and don’t care about myself very deeply.
ReplyDeleteI deffinetly agree with what she had said many of the kids our age really do show signs of being early narrisits. As much as people will deny it or go against it it's the truth. Kids may wanna be cool and get into fights and post about how they get into trouble so people thinks it's cool. We will later on realize that it's stupid to always get kicked out of classes or get into fights because it's only ruining things for us in the future.
DeleteI agree with her,alot of kids at our age have egos over stupid little things and only care about themselves and dont care about others very much.
Deletei agree, there are kids who think too much of them self. They are becoming narcissist. They dont care about many people, they just care about them self.
Deleteexactly i agree with her on this because my family are not fixated onto getting likes either. me and my family barely get on social media. we all have our own opinions and say what we have to say.
DeleteI do not recognize myself of family in any of the descriptions on this article because I don't care about how many likes I get. I join Facebook or instagram to link up with friends and see what they post and I like to post things myself. My friends on the other hand love likes and followers. They will do just about anything for them. I don't care about the likes but I do care about how others see me. At one point in your life everyone once cared to much to be popular or important or even the center of attention. I feel I can stay on the healthy side of the line. I don't not virtually live, I like in the moment. I used to care about how others saw me and now I don't. Many people are vain and so judge mental nowadays and people just need to get over it because not everyone is going to love you. Facebook and instagram and snapchat are all addicting social media accounts. You share pictures and you get likes and chat and you can see what everyone up to at any given time. Although it very well could be dangerous many people like to stay on them because of how addicting they are. There is always some type of drama that will bring you back even if you try to bring yourself to stop. I think the author of this article made a very very clear statement and really cleaned our eyes. Many people would think what's a narcissism until you look it up and find yourself to be in some of the characteristics. Then you get creeped out, but soon to find out that almost everyone is a narcissist or has a little narcissism in them. It's scary to think about sometimes what the world is coming to but you need to accept it for what it is. For people who aren't as attached to social media this shouldn't be too many challenges, but everyone's different. I think sometimes with some people the problems do arise. Maybe from family problems or neglect. Many things can set off people to become narcissists, even a broken heart.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete— Do you recognize yourself or your friends or family in any of the descriptions in this article? Are you sometimes too fixated on collecting “likes” and thinking about how others see you?
ReplyDeleteNo at times i just do what makes me happy and if you like me you like me if you don't you don't i don't really care i do what i like because im happy i don't care what other people think.
— What’s the line between “healthy self-love” that “requires being fully alive at this moment, as opposed to being virtually alive while wondering what others think,” and unhealthy narcissism? How can you stay on the healthy side of the line?
You can stay on the healthy side of the line by eating correct and working out regularly or just being active
— What about Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and other social media feeds makes them so hard to put down?
Instagram and faceboook and snapchat are so hard to put down because it's how we talk to each other if we don't live close to each other or have the time to hang out.
— Do you think this writer’s proposal of a “social media fast” is a viable way to combat narcissism?
A social media fast like a couple of days without social media would force people to go be with others but also drive everyone crazy because people are so used to doing the same thing on social media everyday so it might slow down people becoming more narcissistic.
— For those who aren’t as attached to social media, do challenges from an overinflated sense of self still arise? If so, from where?
People who aren't on social media can get a big ego if they are better at sports or singing or dancing or anything then someone else and they think they are the best they will grow an ego.
— If everyone is becoming more narcissistic, does that make narcissism necessarily a bad thing?
Yes and no because if everyone is becoming narcissistic then you do it isn't a bad thing if all the people you are around are also narcissistic but if you are the only one who is narcissistic it can be a bad thing because your friends won't enjoy you being around.
I have family who are truly fixated on how people see them. For example, my uncle lies about how much money he makes, and all this stuff he gets. He spends money that he doesn’t have, and he can barely pay bills. But he is too fixated on people liking him that he won’t tell anyone that he’s broke. Personally i do like for people to like me, and i suppose thats one of my main goals. Well lets be real, do you want everyone hating you, or do you want as many people to like you as possible. When you love yourself, you take care of yourself and you treat yourself well. When your obsessed with yourself and your a narcissist, you need to make yourself known. Its like begging for attention, just like a bunch of people i know. Im friends with people who need alot of followers on instagram to make them happy. Its because there obsessed with their self, and they have to be the center of attention to make themself happy. The thing that makes social media hard to push away, is all the entertaining stuff on it. And, your able to communicate with friends, and even meet new people. On some social medias, they even give news out, and they tell you things you didnt know. Social media is like a fun type of news. Honestly, i think over inflating sense of self just happens, i dont think anything causes it. My dad has no social media, and he doesn’t think much of himself. Being a narcissist is something you are born with, its not something you just get. Narcissism isn’t bad in general. If a person needs to make them self known let them do it, its not hurting you. I dont stop my uncle, or anyone i know from making there presence known.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on how people just love the media so much and just cant get off, I like how you gave good examples with your answers you put in, i agree the same way how its hard to put social media away from that are use to using it in everyday life. Its something we connect with each other on.
DeleteMe and my family are busy everyday lol so we barely have the chance to get on social media like that. No i'm not fixated on collecting likes and what other people think of me.
ReplyDelete2.) I guess you can stop using social media EVERY SINGlE DAY and just try to leave it alone and focus on what’s really best for you in life.
3.) Well sometimes those things make it hard for you to put your phone down because on all three of those social media’s they have videos that you can watch and it entertains you so you won't be bored and also you can contact your friends on those also.
4.) They probably aren’t so attached to social media because they have better things to do then just be on social media ALL DAY EVERYDAY.
i agree with what you are saying. A lot of people get attached to social media because they dont have anything to do. But if they have something to occupy themselves with they dont have a reason to be on it a lot. On your 3 point that is true because its a trend that everyone does these days. so if we hear someone talking about it and we havent been on for a while thats gonna be our exscuse to go back on
DeleteI do not recognize myself in the descriptions of the article. But most of my friends i do. I can count more than one hand of my friends that pay attention to that stuff. When i first joined instagram i did. But now i could careless of how many likes or comments i get. I post because I want to not because i want everyone else to see. I once cared about what people thought about me in school. So i would make sure my mom or dad got me whatever was trending but now at this point i dont care because they are not getting me through life. They are not providing for me and if people hate on me or talk about me that gives me more of a reason to show that i dont care. Healthy-self-love motivates us. And it just protects us from certain things. Unhealthy narracism is when someone cares too much about themself. They are selfish. And they think everyone likes them but no one does because the way they act or because how they treat others. To put these social media stuff down in my opinion i feel like we have to know something better is coming than just instagram, snapchat, or facebook. We cant just put it down. Its the trend and thats what everyone does. So its just a nautral recation to just be like going on this social media stuff out of nowhere and to sit on it for hours. With people who dont use social media as much i think could make it through. These days nothing is ever face to face its always screen to screen. Everyone always is always arguing over social media. And bullying just because they are behind a screen. But everyone is different and everyone takes situations differently.
ReplyDeleteI recognize my friends as Narcissism ,There always stuck on social media only some of my family relivties are.Im not a person who is fixated about collecting likes or how many people see my posts.I did not at all take the test but if i did i think i will get a middle chance score. All social medias like snapchat,facebook,instagram.Their all hard to shut down with people always using them in everyday life. some people spend half there school/work on theses medias.The writers proposal of a "social media fast" i dont think its a viable way to combat narcissism by people already using social media for fast things which Narcissism is something help us see if people are into social media also. For those who dont use social media or are not that attached overinflated sense of self do arise for example, people could be attached to a game that the check every second or play every minute of the day. If everyone is becoming narcissistic that dosnt make narcissism a bad thing at all.
ReplyDeleteI don’t recognize myself or family to any descriptions in this article, neither any of my friends besides one person. I’m never really fixated on likes and i don’t really care what others think. I believe the line between is like you don’t care about others opinions, then like you're obsessed about others opinions and strive for likes or attentions and don’t care about the effects. I believe that the way i stay on the healthy side is thinking that i’m perfect the way am i, and that if i please myself then it doesn’t matter what other people think. No i didn’t take the test. I believe that for myself instagram, facebook, snapchat and other social media is so hard to put down because for me i like to be updated with news or things going viral. For example instagram, facebook and twitter, there’s funny videos or cool videos and i like to watch them. Facebook for me i use for family, a lot of my family lives far away and i like so see what’s going on with them and things. Yes i do think this writer’s proposal to social media fast, is a visible way to combat narcissism. Because by their actions you can just see. Um yes if everyone is being more narcissistic, that does make narcissism a bad thing, in my opinion because, narcissism is a horrible thing it eats away at your personality and makes you a different unloving person. From my perspective i see that because i know someone who is and is messed up. They don’t know how to really love someone and care about social media like its a baby and it’s horrible. I believe you should be careful with social media because you don’t know it’s outcome it will have on you.
ReplyDelete